HELLO CLEVELAND! If you're gonna cook dinner, you gotta have the rock. Actually, I'm listening to Dierks Bentley right now, but it was Sum 41 earlier so we're good.
I don't always make complicated drinks...(sheepish grin). But hey, you like my Salvador Dali mug?
Yeah, that's a twenty pound bag of rice, bitches. We don't piss around when it comes to the Thai food. Put some rice on to cook 'fore you start.
Chop one chicken breast into adorable little bite size pieces.
Chop up a nice big pile of garlic. You're gonna want lots. Did you know the earliest mention of garlic in history is a complaint by the ancient Egyptians about how much of it their slaves were eating?
You're gonna want a couple chiles. Most of the heat comes from the black pepper, tho, so take it easy. Chile peppers are native to north America, so there weren't any in Thai food until the 1600's.
Now the star of the show! Pick a huge amount of basil leaves, like one packed cup at least. You want so much basil it's almost a salad. Don't freak, you're gonna wilt some of it. GROW YOUR OWN, BRA!
Dump it in that serving bowl and set aside.
Now make the 'sauce'. Add one teaspoon soy sauce to one tablespoon fish sauce. Have about a teaspoon of sugar ready to go too.
Set the table in preparation for the awesomeness to come. Don't forget your stimulating reading material.
Mise en place is important, even when you're wasted. Hell, especially when you're wasted.
Put some peanut oil over medium high, dudebro.
Here we see those chiles making love to the garlic. Shhhh! Don't disturb 'em, other than by shaking the pan once or twice.
Add the chicken and stir fry until it's almost done.
Now grind a LOT of black pepper over it. Before chiles were imported, all the heat in Thai food came from black pepper. When you think you have enough, add some more and then you're good.
Dump in the liquid and the sugar and stir fry for a minute or two.
Now take about half those basil leaves and put 'em in the pan. Stir fry just a little while until they wilt.
You get this.
Dump the pan into the serving bowl and toss together.
Plate it with rice & serve! You & your sweetie are gonna love this one. Ice cold Mountain Dew or a couple Sinha beers would wash this down nicely, yeah? Then cuddle on the couch with some ice cream.