How to Make Boring People's Chili (Crockpot)

My family isn't a fan of spicy, onion, peppery anything. So how can I make a chili to make them happy that still tastes yummiful? Read on!

1.9k Views 162 Likes
How to Make Boring People's Chili (Crockpot) Recipe
24 Steps
Ingredients
Embed
1
So... It looks like this outside and one thought crosses through your head... "It's stew, chili and warm yummy stuff season!!" ( if you said football, foliage, or apple picking season you are wrong..)

So... It looks like this outside and one thought crosses through your head... "It's stew, chili and warm yummy stuff season!!" ( if you said football, foliage, or apple picking season you are wrong..)

2
First we gather our food army.  Ms. Crushed tomatoes is fashionably late having just suffered a difficult breakup.  Everyone else is present for roll call.

First we gather our food army. Ms. Crushed tomatoes is fashionably late having just suffered a difficult breakup. Everyone else is present for roll call.

Recommended For You
3
I put the stove on medium heat and add a little olive oil.  Why?  Because my husband buys the super lean ground beef and we all know where the flavor is at.

I put the stove on medium heat and add a little olive oil. Why? Because my husband buys the super lean ground beef and we all know where the flavor is at.

4
So I start browning the ground beef and add my first packet of Sezòn.  Meat absorbs flavor better while it cooks... Not after.  Sezón is like magic.  Trust me.

So I start browning the ground beef and add my first packet of Sezòn. Meat absorbs flavor better while it cooks... Not after. Sezón is like magic. Trust me.

5
Then I add garlic.  No, not the garlic from our supply list.  Extra garlic powder because I'm half Puerto Rican and that's how we roll. There is a reason there are no famous Puerto Rican vampires.

Then I add garlic. No, not the garlic from our supply list. Extra garlic powder because I'm half Puerto Rican and that's how we roll. There is a reason there are no famous Puerto Rican vampires.

6
It should smell pretty great.  It's ok if there is a little pink as this will be cooked through later... When we act like we are working hard on dinner and the crock pot does the work for us.

It should smell pretty great. It's ok if there is a little pink as this will be cooked through later... When we act like we are working hard on dinner and the crock pot does the work for us.

7
Note the extra grease.  Gross but yummy.  You want to drain about half of that off and keep the rest in the pan with your meat.  Set aside.

Note the extra grease. Gross but yummy. You want to drain about half of that off and keep the rest in the pan with your meat. Set aside.

8
Next is the part that takes the longest.  I fight with the electric can opener to get the cans to give up their goods.  I'm blonde so it isn't an easy feat for me.  I sold my soul to it this time.

Next is the part that takes the longest. I fight with the electric can opener to get the cans to give up their goods. I'm blonde so it isn't an easy feat for me. I sold my soul to it this time.

9
Yay!!! Cans of stuff!  I always drain the beans and rotel of extra liquid.  We don't want that thick bean fluid to take away our flavors.

Yay!!! Cans of stuff! I always drain the beans and rotel of extra liquid. We don't want that thick bean fluid to take away our flavors.

10
Now we take our spices and blend them together.  I tend to not add much salt because we have senior citizens in the house and I'd rather them not swell up like balloons.

Now we take our spices and blend them together. I tend to not add much salt because we have senior citizens in the house and I'd rather them not swell up like balloons.

11
Look how pretty it looks!

Look how pretty it looks!

12
Now dump the ground beef in the pot.

Now dump the ground beef in the pot.

13
And all the cans of stuff.

And all the cans of stuff.

14
And fold it all together.  I say fold because I'm lazy and using the spatula.  Plus it makes clean up quicker.

And fold it all together. I say fold because I'm lazy and using the spatula. Plus it makes clean up quicker.

15
Add spices and continue to "fold" or mix or stir or whatever you do to make all our parts come together. ( that's what she said)

Add spices and continue to "fold" or mix or stir or whatever you do to make all our parts come together. ( that's what she said)

16
Viola!! Totally looks like real chili!  Well it is real chili... Real not-too-spicy-because-we-are-boring chili. I promise it'll still taste good!

Viola!! Totally looks like real chili! Well it is real chili... Real not-too-spicy-because-we-are-boring chili. I promise it'll still taste good!

17
I like to taste test at this point.  Don't judge.  The meat is cooked and the beans are pre-cooked... One thing that can throw off chili is not having enough cumin.  When I doubt add a little cumin.

I like to taste test at this point. Don't judge. The meat is cooked and the beans are pre-cooked... One thing that can throw off chili is not having enough cumin. When I doubt add a little cumin.

18
Next I turn on the crockpot and cover.  High for four hours or low for eight hours.  You can pretend you slaved away for those hours.

Next I turn on the crockpot and cover. High for four hours or low for eight hours. You can pretend you slaved away for those hours.

19
Look at how little of a mess we have!  Clean up is super easy!  You know how I am about clean up (ie buttery cinnamon bars). It's mostly because I fear my mother in laws wrath! J/k

Look at how little of a mess we have! Clean up is super easy! You know how I am about clean up (ie buttery cinnamon bars). It's mostly because I fear my mother in laws wrath! J/k

20
Flash forward four hours later.  At this point your family will be home.  Get a spoon and act like you've been turning your masterpiece all day!  Dust yourself with flour.  That's what they do on TV.

Flash forward four hours later. At this point your family will be home. Get a spoon and act like you've been turning your masterpiece all day! Dust yourself with flour. That's what they do on TV.

21
Don't worry, I didn't use the spatula to serve.

Don't worry, I didn't use the spatula to serve.

22
In a bowl with some shredded cheddar and sour cream!  I tried to make it look pretty but let's be honest here... Chili isn't a "pretty" meal.

In a bowl with some shredded cheddar and sour cream! I tried to make it look pretty but let's be honest here... Chili isn't a "pretty" meal.

23
There now she's beautiful.... Or looking like an odd Dr. Who alien.  Don't blink!

There now she's beautiful.... Or looking like an odd Dr. Who alien. Don't blink!

24
My spawn... I mean my daughter (10) approves.  Trust me ten year old girls know EVERYTHING so it must be good...  I hope you enjoy your meal!  Pro-tip - Next day ALWAYS tastes better.

My spawn... I mean my daughter (10) approves. Trust me ten year old girls know EVERYTHING so it must be good... I hope you enjoy your meal! Pro-tip - Next day ALWAYS tastes better.

keyboard shortcuts:     previous step     next step
Comments
0 COMMENTS
View More Comments