Boil some shit for noodles
Make a roux: toast the flour and then take off the heat. Add butter and whisk. Return to heat.
Fry the shallots in some olive oil
These are the shallots after being fried
Bacon is here
Grate some cheese
Fry the bacon in its own fat. Rendering ain't just for video editors anymore.
Add the cheese to the roux+milk
The cheese melts into the milky roux and becomes cheese sauce. Cooking is magic
Slice the tomatoes in half and fry the loving shit out of 'em
Fry the scallops in their own love. And the olive oil and bacon fat left in the pan
Fry the asparagus after you chop them in thirds
These are things
Grease the pan with cheese sauce. Everyone loves lube, even pans!
Layer with noodles, shallots and bacon, cheese sauce and another layer of noodles
Toss the bacon and shallots in with the asparagus and spray them all over the broad chest of the lasagne. It wouldn't hurt to call it names at this point either
Noodle it again, add the scallops and tomatoes
Add another final layer of noodles and dump a load of sauce on top. Wipe it around with the spoon an then flick the spoon to get the last drops off. Smile smugly to yourself
SIR, SIR, yer baaaaaked sir.
Eat the loving shit out of it. With a little pepper.