How to Catch a Mouse

by Margaret McKellar

I am told this is very common in old homes, but people can be too embarrassed to talk about it. If you think you have a problem, just get on and deal with it quickly!


  • Mouse traps
  • Cleaning supplies
  • Garbage bags
  • Rubber gloves
  • Scotch
  • Nerves
  • Instructions

    Step 1

    Eeeek! You have mice. Take a moment to freak out, feel you have failed as a homeowner, woman, whatever. Call a friend. Cry.

    Step 2

    Buy as many traps as you can. Mice like to entertain. Buy "live traps" too and hope they use them, but don't release them outside...they'll just come back in. Also, get rubber gloves.

    Step 3

    Pour yourself a generous scotch. You need to calm those nerves.

    Step 4

    Get your bait. I used peanut butter substitute due to an allergy in the house. And why not make the last dinner a feast? Cereal, cheese, sunflower seeds, even a chocolate chip!

    Step 5

    Bait your trap. Don't make my first mistake...It should be a small bait. Mousey can nibble on the bait, set it off. Thought the big ball of cheese was a decapitation. Not kidding. Back to step 3.

    Step 6

    Set the trap. Sorry my hand is in the way, I almost lost my thumb the first time and was just concentrating on the task. Set the bait BEFORE you set the trap.

    Step 7

    Clean like mad. Use bleach. Throw out everything! Find the path where they are coming in or hang out - the spot with the most poo - to place the traps..(shudder). Location is the key to success.

    Step 8

    Mice can chew through boxes and bags. Put all your pasta, flour, sugar, everything in glass or well sealed hard plastic. Honestly though, I threw everything below 4' storage out.

    Step 9

    Ridiculous sonic mouse repellants. Irritating buzzing noise, but it makes the kids feel safe. Update: Actually, she couldn't sleep with the noise.

    Step 10

    Wash everything the mouse could have possibly touched on nuclear heat. Twice. Gross.

    Step 11

    OMG the trap snapped! You are brave. You can do it. Back to step 3, then open the cupboard. Gloves on.

    Step 12

    I know this is horrible, but this mouse did not suffer-it was gone in a snap, pardon the pun. Put another trap in the same spot, just in case there are more. The old fashioned kind worked in an hour.

    Step 13

    Go to bed. This is not a fun task, but so important to be diligent.