How to Survive a Wampa Attack

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Put yourself in a situation where you are by yourself on a dangerous ice planet. The key here is to be in both an unforgiving environment and remote: make your friends work to save you!

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Wear proper eyewear. The best kind severely limits your peripheral vision allowing the wampa (a polar bear would also be an acceptable substitute) unabated access to your blind spot..

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Distract yourself at the precise moment he needs to close the gap to kill your tauntaun and knock you unconscious. Making a radio call or sending a text message will do just fine.

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Proper unconsciousness will give you the desired limpness to avoid strain and sore muscles as the wampa whips you over his shoulder to carry you back to his cave to eat later.

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After being firmly affixed to the roof of the wampa's cave (and after he has stepped away to finish eating your tauntaun) you may now regain consciousness and assess your new surroundings.

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Using your nascent powers of force manipulation, you can retrieve your lightsaber that has so conveniently fallen within eyesight.

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Using said lightsaber, cut yourself free. Don't pay too much attention to precision. You can always claim frostbite later when you're rescued.

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Now you're adequately prepared to defend yourself and set yourself up for a rescue!

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Lunge at the approaching wampa and cleanly slice his arm off at the shoulder.

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Arm now severed, run away as fast and as far as you can go!

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Collapse in a place no more than several hundred feet from the wampa cave.

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Wait for your friend to arrive who has, unbeknownst to you, ridden his tauntaun to the point of utter exhaustion, possibly dooming both of you.

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More than likely the tauntaun will collapse. Don't worry, this is exactly what you want to happen.

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When life hands you lemons...

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...make lemonade!

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Have your friend place you in the slimmiest, smelliest place imaginable just to buy a couple of minutes to set up a pup tent for you to spend the night.

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The next morning, if you've played your cards right, things will now have escalated to a full scale snow speeder search.

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Your friend should have a radio so he can quickly call for help.

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You're almost done!

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A short snow speeder ride and a quick dunk in a bacta tank and...

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...good as new!

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Enjoy that Popsicle, you've earned it!

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